I first started @sugarcoated.bakes back in high school; fifteen year old me would spend afternoons- usually still in her school uniform- baking cupcakes in her small kitchen oven with a youtube baking tutorial playing in the background. Back then she was only baking for friends and family, trying out new recipes every week, sometimes, more often than not, failing them, throwing out countless bowls of split ganache and melted fondant and crying over them🥲

Although sixteen year old me may have presented a curated version of herself online, she was actually mostly lost, confused and insecure, and almost gave up baking altogether because no matter how hard she tried, her cakes didn’t turn out looking as good as the ones on Pinterest. When she finally turned seventeen and started taking baking and decorating classes, she’d practice until late hours of the night, wondering if maybe someday she could make her cakes as pretty as the ones she sees on Instagram.

Years have passed since, and I’ve grown and accomplished more than the past versions of myself could have possibly imagined, and yet, I am still all of them. I still have moments of self doubt and insecurity, but when I look back on my sixteen year old self who was lost, the eighteen year old me who was just trying to find herself, on all I did not know as a nineteen year old, on all the wonderful stretches of life ahead of me, I can see now that even in the midst of uncertainty, I was blooming all along. 🌷

So now as I’m about to enter a new chapter of my life, I hold all the past versions of myself close to my heart. I choose to remember their hope, their strength, and their perseverance. I’ll soon be 21, but I am also that girl who’s 15 and curious, 16 and hopeful, 19 and trying her best, 18 and 20 and learning from her mistakes. They are with me and within me at all times, and with all the precious lessons they have taught me, I promise to pay it forward❤️